Searching for something close to life

Life has given me flowers
But I am searching for thorns
A flower we remember and forget
But the prick of a thorn is close
Close to my body my heart
A flower poses no goal
A thorn makes it a passion
to go for the flower
Feeling it closely
its pain so intimate
yes 'close' something in life should be close
yes 'close' without it you feel it
with it you go away from it
A feeling so intimate so close just mine

What could this feeling be which makes me stumble
its so close to life - its death
so far yet so near
would man want to live hadnt he to die
yes it close to life its death

so close you hate it
so painful you hate it
so intimate you love it